It's been a while, my lovely.

Let me take you through how life has been since the last time I wrote to you.

There have been moments where I cried that I could hardly breathe.

There have also been deep-throated waves of laughter that I could hardly breathe too.

There have been days of self-doubt, moments of confidence, of exhaustion, of gratefulness, and days where I find it hard to be grateful.

I have been in all seasons, but one thing that has been consistent is that I feel at peace, because my moments of sadness aren't accompanied by the feeling of depression.

In 2021, there were seasons where I laughed, cried, and doubted just like I have this year, but I was in a place where I kept praying to God I don’t want to ever be again.

So, I do recognize peace and the many other names you can use to describe what 2021 was for me.

And that shows you how life is never in a season. Like the rain, harmattan, and the kind of heat that wants you to keep the shower on. It shows that you can’t and won’t always be happy or be sad, but you can be at peace.

I like to be motivational and say you can choose to be at peace, but when chaos finds one, it’s hard for peace to be just a choice.

Here is what I can say, there are days, months, that year where you will crumble and you will want out of life, but I dare you to keep going even if nothing seems to make sense anymore.

Tell me, how has life been for you this year?

This is a safe space where you can share everything even when you are sure the other person will think it’s stupid.

I will be reading how life has been for you, and I will also be replying.

Aisha

PS: I have never read or seen a book that describes grief better than the novel “Someday, Maybe” by Onyi Nwabineli. I shared it with a friend and she totally agreed.