Loosing and regaining "the spark"

A few years back, I started an intentional journey to becoming a better person. This includes self-development, building meaningful friendships and relationships, and religious growth.

I did start the journey with "the spark."

Aisha was here and there, doing this and that, taking courses and reading books, watching meaningful shows, and showing up. "The spark" was there.

Two days ago, I got into a conversation with myself about "the spark," and I realized it was no longer there.

It's been a robotic life so far. It's a routine of home to class to home sprinkled with a conversation with friends and roommate and scrolling through Instagram and viewing statuses, and that pattern all over again.

I thought about how thought leaders and TEDx speakers have mentioned that people lose "the spark" in their late 30s and 40s.

It begs the question, why have I lost "the spark" in my early 20s?

Here are some reasons and probable solutions that I thought of.

1. Gratitude

Gratitude is so hard to practice especially when it seems like you're experiencing no growth, but gratitude makes you reflect and show you how far you've come.

My self-confidence has been very shitty for some two years now. Just yesterday, I was about using the same lines I used while praying to God - Ya Allah, I currently have zero self-confidence.

At that moment, I couldn't relate to that line because while my self-confidence is far from where I loved it to be, I realized that I am not at point zero anymore. Maybe 0.5 or 1, but I have surely progressed.

Practice gratitude even when it's very difficult.

2. Visit the drawing board again.

I am not entirely sure why you started that journey to becoming a better person, but going back to the drawing board may help.

The drawing board helps you see where you are currently and reminds you of where you are going.

I could remember reading my 2022 resolutions and I couldn't help but smile at just how far I have come.

It also reminded me of how much spark I used to have. Maybe it hasn't fully ignited the spark, but reminded me of where Yeesha used to be. This leads to my third point.

3. Robotically

I do not know how far you've gone in life and much of what you've experienced, but I have failed in life so much, hence the reason I lost my spark.

I have gotten to that point of saturation where motivational and inspirational speakers got nothing on me.

How do I then keep going without the spark and motivation? Just move my dear, do it in that robotic way.

Read the books just because you have to. Take the courses just because you have to. Build meaningful friendships just because you know you have to.

Do it robotically. I guess we all get to that point in life where "robotic" is really just it.

Maybe along the way, you reignite the spark again.

4. Therapy

Why not see a therapist if you can afford one?

Therapy is mistaken to be for depressed people. But, I love to let you know that a good number of the people doing well for themselves and are carrying "the spark" with grace have therapists they see.

You are right to say therapy is the reason why some of them could or are holding on to "the spark."

You are also right if you say a therapist could be a professional or that friend(s) who would always help you navigate your thoughts.

Therapy is indeed therapeutic.

All this to say, it's sincerely okay to lose "the spark."

Aisha signs off here.